kelingking

kelingking buat bikin janji.

i do that a lot, mostly with my boyfriend.
and i'm just scared, how may keep those promise for i don't know how many decades.

siang itu kami nonton film dirumah, aku sengaja pindahin iMac yg berat dan besar itu ke ruang tamu, karena proyektor ku ngga bisa dipake.
hari itu aku setengah tahun pacaran sama pacarku. aku minta dia dateng ke rumah, dan aku bilang aku mau tunjukin sesuatu ke dia. dia bilang 'jangan yang ngga enak ya sayang'. tapi aku bilang aku gatau enak apa enggak, terus dia tanya apakah itu sesuatu yang bisa dimakan. aku jawab 'ngga bisa, kalo dimakan namanya makan ati ntar'
dia datang, aku kasih dia hadiah seperti bulan-bulan sebelumnya, kali ini aku kasih dia kado bento karena dia separo jepang gitu dan dia suka makan. bento nya bentuk totoro, karena dia suka dan mirip totoro. dibuatnya pake cinta (cintanya temenku). dan dia suka.
lalu kita nonton film, film nya nyeritain tentang LDR dalam suasana humor, tapi agaknya lumayan ngenes juga. lalu ada suatu scene yang menyorot komputer si pemain utama. si pemain utama sedang browsing tentang long distance relationship. disitu diperlihatkan bahwa 98% kasus LDR gagal, dan hanya 2% yang berhasil.

lalu dia bilang "kita salah satu dari yang dua persen itu" 
lalu kita kaitkan kelingking kita dan tersenyum.

refleksi mindset #1

dulu sewaktu aku kecil, aku menggambar. gambarnya jelek karena sampai sekarang pun aku tidak bisa menggambar bagus dengan tangan. waktu itu aku gambar tiga orang. cowok satu, cewek nya dua. yang satu ceweknya masih kecil, rambutnya lurus agak keriting. lalu aku warnai gambar itu, tapi tidak pada bagian telapak tangan, karena menurutku susah. waktu itu aku menggunakan crayon yang ujungnya besar, sedangkan tangannya kecil. lalu aku tunjukkan gambar itu kepada ayahku. beliau adalah seorang programer dan designer. lalu waktu dia melihat gambar itu dia menanyakan mengapa tangannya tidak diwarnai, dan aku jawab dengan jujur bahwa aku tidak bisa. dan ayahku menjawab jangan tunjukin ke aku kalo kamu tidak bisa.

chance, choice, a kiss, and believing

let the right one in
let the old dreams die
let the wrong ones go

my best friend, she's just got a new boyfriend. and yet, she still think of her ex, over 2 years ago. what do you think? do you think what she did is wrong? for some thought, i thought she was wrong. but then, i realize, or i remember. you see, it's not that easy.

this afternoon i told her: do not disappoint him. well do you think it's gonna be that hard to make it happen? so hard. so hard. so hard. i'd been there. when i was about to begin a new relationship with my present boyfriend, i was try to conceal my self from a complicated story. and yes it's still carried on a bit when i date my present boyfriend. for several time he was upset and disappointed, well of course. and when he read this, he might overcome it again, i'm sorry.

but you know what, it's all right now. i feel comfortable, i feel happy, i love him. i didn't give a shit for what happen in back then. and i don't care if i barely know him for 2 month, i like him, why not? it is a risk to love, what if doesn't work out? ah, but what if it does work out ;)

you see, there's always gonna be some ruff time. but when it does, just believe for what you've done. you're willing to take him as your boyfriend, i'm sure that is something. when i ran into some trouble, my boyfriend always said: you need a kiss, then everything will be alright. my favorite quote of him. i understand that everything would not change just by a kiss. but that kiss reminds me, i have my strength. and it might be not a kiss, but in another way you guys choose of believe in, the point is don't regret, the universe has set us.

no one falls in love by choice, it is by chance. no one stays in love by chance, it is by work. and no one falls out of love by chance, it's by choice. you've got the chance, you've chosen, and now it's time for you to work it out :)