faking

“No matter how good things are, there will always be solitary nights you spend in your bedroom, in a car, or in a party full of your closest friends when it feels like the walls are caving in.” -Dan Campbell

kamu tau, duduk di baris paling depan pas pelajaran RPL itu capek. capek merhatiin? nggak. capek harus nyatet? nggak. capek tersenyum. duduk di baris paling depan pas pelajaran RPL itu harus selalu tersenyum, dan sesekali tertawa padahal nggak ada yang lucu. capek ya disuruh fake smile dan fake laugh gitu. 

anehnya, masih lebih capek 2 jam fake smile dan fake laugh di suatu kelas RPL itu lho, daripada bertahun-tahun ini. guess i'm getting used to it, or i'm that strong. but yeah slightly i'm just getting tired, and getting sick of it. idk.

of what? of me. of you.